i took a wrong turn
HAVING to HAVE/DO something is sort of like a trigger of mind..
for example, HAVING to HAVE tomato sauce on spaghetti or noodles?
or, HAVING to DO everything a certian way or it isnt right -- wake up, pick out clothes, shower, dry hair, make up etc -- if its not done that way it seems the whole day just collapses, then goes back to thinking that because you did that little thing in the wrong place of something else that was the problem for the awful day.
someone i know HAS to listen to this certian song once a day, soon as they wake up and if the song isn't played the whole day falls apart.
is it just your brain telling you because you've broken routine that the day is going to be miserable?
fixation, pixation, taxation, relaxation
'Almost always, when meeting someone for the first time, I'm asked how did I actually start out making chocolate. I usually tell them when I was 10 I read "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and swore that one day I would find a river of chocolate and sail in it..
I also tell them about Anna who was my first love and who could not fall asleep without eating a piece of milk chocolate before going to bed, because she would have bad dreams other wise..
But the truth is that I wanted to be a writer. One who gets up at noon, sits in cafes, writes until the morning and devotes a book to an impossible, eternal love.
At the age of twenty, I thought that in order to get inspiration for my first novel I needed to be alone. I needed to walk in narrow streets, sit in a dark room with a candle, feel the longing and write... Later I searched for romance to get inspiration. I wanted to live in a small house, ride my bicycle to work, make colourful sweets in big jars and write. I opened a chocolate workshop. People fell in love with my reality movie and I was living the magic of romance, yet I was making so many sweets that I had no time left to write..
Then I wanted to experience decadence to get real, raging inspiration, like the stories in biographies of great writers. I wanted to wear Versace suits with tight pants, drink lots of wine, let the light shine in my eyes, fall in love with the prettiest woman and write. I designed and created a chocolate lifestyle. I dived into decadence, but most of the time I was drunk and did not write.
More than 10 years have passed since I started looking for inspiration for my writing. I have yet to write.
Recently I brought a special, feather pen and a thick leather notebook. Soon I will start writing my novel. I've been making chocolate for more than ten years. Almost without noticing it, I find myself telling a story. Maybe through telling the story of chocolate I can also tell something about myself, something about longing, romance and decadence.
I invite you to watch, smell, taste and feel my love story.'
- Max Brenner
if you want to die and go to heaven in one simple sip whenever you're in melbourne / gold coast / sydney hunt out the nearest max brenner's chocolate cafe, theres honestly something in those hot chocolates / coffees that really is a love story.
i wish there were more people in the world like that, honestly.
twenty ten
2010, welcome to the future.
i realised on new years eve at 11.58pm i had no resolutions, unlike the past years where i had one pick from pages and pages of suggestions. there was nothing coming to me.. but i decided that i never stick to my decisions and always seem to be wrong, therefore, the resolution for 2010 is to stay determined and focused no matter the situation.
im ready for 2010, im ready for all the things that it will bring and all the things that it will take away, im ready for finnishing things ive started and becoming a better person, per say.
2009 brought a whole new perpestive into my life.
it brought love, and new friendships, i opened my mind to things instead of keeping it closed to the things i was told. now to push away the bad of 2009 and open to the good of 2010.
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